I can’t decide if this is the best or the worst dad ever
If a man wakes up every day to put on a costume SOLELY to wave his child off to school, he is a dedicated father and truly one of the best out there, even tho this probably embarrassed the shit out of his kid
im going to be this father
just a few of the many reasons why I’m excited for when the tumblr generation becomes parents
story about a dude that rejected by a hot girl and the movie shows him trying to win her over and at the end it turns out the hot girl is a lesbian and she had a crush on this chubby girl the dude totally rudely rejected earlier and the two super cute girls smooch and the dude cries and no one gives a shit
ladies and gentlemen, the american education system
My school apparently ran out of toilet paper a few weeks ago and my Spanish teacher was telling the girls to keep a roll in their purses and the guys to keep a roll in our backpacks. North American Education system.
this is basically any public school in the world tbh
bet the football teams have new equiptment though
Whoop there it is
i accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever. i started talking about solipsism (the belief that everything around you was created by your mind) and i went “If everything around me is all my imagination, then you’re the best thing I’ve come up with” she was speechless for a solid five minutes.
If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero
Quick and simple lifehacks.
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent